Inspirational motervation ( well that's the plan anyway )........
You guys know already about my 28yrs of domestic abuse and I've shared the bare basic bones of it all on my variouse posts, yes it was a lot more soul distroying and self worth destructive than it first appears but its impossible to write down every single boring day or scrabble around trying to find the right fitting descriptive words to fit . Let's just say it wasn't a particularly meaningful part of my existence but on the positive side one day I found the inner strengh needed and I'm now enjoying every single minute of my new found freedom .
I started the whole process a few years ago in order to put some sort of filing system to my thinking , writting everything down somewhere has been amazing cheap therapy and it helped clear those crazy non logical thoughts out of my head .
I think my past domestic abuse posts speak for themselves , I would quite happily stand up in front of a room full of total strangers and talk about the rarely discussed subject of domestic abuse.
Now you have to remember this is coming from a person that would never used to challenge anyone and who used to avoid anything that could possibly cause the nerves to begin to shake even slightly . My self confidence was well and truly frazzled to say the least and I never admitted to anyone about the all suffercating unhappiness I once felt .
I had been mushed , squashed , desensitised and 100% discombobulated .
I felt worthless to everyone and anyone .
Now I count my self unbelievable lucky to have survived it all because I know there's some out there not so lucky . If you saw me walking up the street you would have no idea what I'd been through or that I once thought that maybe jumping off a motorway bridge was a good idea , domestic abuse survivors don't have signs or wear badges of declaration , we are simply just perfectly reasonably normal people who have won our own personal major battle .
I now tell anyone that asks ( and even some that don't ) all about my domestic abusive past because I feel its a subject that isn't talked about nearly enough , I won't dodge the subject matter any more and neither do I care if my now very much ex-abuser finds out !!
My future plan is to now inspire and motivate others to face up to reality and not only discuss domestic abuse openly but also support those that have either been there or are unfortunate enough to be still going though it . I will never have all the answers but what I do have are ears that will listern and I will offer my full support to anyone .
I'll keep shouting about how wrong domestic abuse is till my dying day and if it means standing all alone on a stage telling the darkness in front of me all about myself then I will .
I'm a domestic abuse survivor and proud of it !!!!!!!
I climbed out of my foul stinking pit my abuser insisted on keeping me in and now I stand with my head head high admiring the outstanding view of the world I can now see .
Was the climb easy ?....
No but then nothing really is but it's what you decide to make of it that really counts .
There are loads of people or groups out there that are more than willing to help those coming out of domestic abuse and you don't have to do it on your own , if you don't like the idea of talking to a stranger then my Blog Email can be found in my profile . Please never believe there is no hope left like I once did , I'm living , breathing proof there's life after domestic abuse .
Today's last postive thought is.......
Always be true to yourself because your worth it !!!!!!
